Sweet Pancake Memories

Walking through walmart yesterday, I saw I bottle of bisquik shake and pour pancakes. I laughed and thought of you. "She bought the shake and pour pancakes...I can't teach her to make pancakes with THAT" I love you, brother.

The Phrase That Strikes Fear In My Heart

Brother, I didn't realize how much fear the phrase "colon cancer" puts in my heart. That simple phrase strikes so much fear in my heart. I know the cancer ultimately wasn't what took you from me. I know that it was the blood clot caused by your pic line that ultimately took you from me. Yet, the phrase "colon cancer" now terrifies me. My stepmother is currently undergoing tests for colon cancer and it scares me. I saw the pain that the disease caused you and I don't want her to go through that too. I didn't realize how scared I was of that phrase until I heard the words come out of my dad's mouth yesterday. I miss you. This would be easier to walk through if you were holding my hand but I rejoice that you are worshiping at the feet of our sweet Jesus.

Tears

I think I could cry myself to sleep for the first time since the initial days after you passed away, brother. Life would be a lot easier with you here. I miss you so much.

I Wonder

Its been 3 months since you left us. I wonder when the 3 of us that were so close to you will find it appropriate to change our facebook profile picture to a pic that doesnt have you in it.

State Evangelism Conference

Well, first conference/convention without you, brother. Three musketeers made it through it with minimal crying. SA and MA came back for it. It was the last time we will sing as a choir under his leadership. God has big plans for them in ATL. Can't wait to see how he uses them at FBCJ. We missed you tonight, brother. But we made it through it. Love you.

To The One Who Got Away

I liked it better when you weren't on facebook so much. It hurt my heart less. I loved, love, and will always love you(well at least a part of me). I am glad to see you making all your dreams come true, even if it isn't with me by your side.

Here It Is

Here is the page I wrote for my big brother for SA's memory book. I was finally able to write it with minimal crying.

SA,
JB admired you so much. He loved singing in the choir and came, many times, when his body was telling him he shouldnt. You encouraged him so much. I remember when the choir went to sing outside Mickey's house. Jeff wasn't feeling well at all that day. But he came anyway. He gave himself his medicine through his pic line on the drive to the church and was able to gather enough strength to sing. He enjoyed that bus ride. I think he felt like it gave him a chance to get to know you better. Thank you so much for being an awesome encourager and leader to him. The week he was in the hospital, he was so saddened to realize that he was not going to be able to sing in the Christmas program. He kept making sure to remind me to tell you how sorry he was. Again, thank you so much for being such an encourager to him. You meant more to him than you will ever know.