One Phone Call From Our Knees

"She got the call today, one out of the grey/And when the smoked cleared, it took her breath away/She said she didn't believe 'it could happen to me'/I guess we're all one phone call from our knees"

I got the phone call last Wednesday. A friend of mine called me to tell me that my best friend and "big brother" went home to be with his savior the night before. I think the memory of her saying those words to me will forever be burned into my memory. When the fog of shock lifted the lyrics to this song came to mind. We really are all just one phone call from our knees.

Life Without You

Saturday morning, I woke up and put on my funeral dress; a dress I have worn many times over the past few years, whether it be to attend a funeral or to sing at a funeral. I never dreamed I would put this dress on for YOUR funeral. But I did. I got up and gathered the strength to get myself ready to attend your funeral. The hours of your visitation, funeral, and gravside were some of the most difficult of my life. But I made it through them. Over the past few days, I've been trying to figure out what life without you will be like. Its still something I'm working through. I miss you so much and its hard to think, that you aren't here anymore. Simple things, like game night will be different and big things like who do I go to when my heart is breaking will be different. I'm learning that you left me in good hands. Chris, Ryan, Bashan, and Anna are making sure I'm not without older siblings. You have left me in good hands but they are not your hands. Its something I will have to adjust to. Life without you, is something I will have to adjust to. Its a day by day process; sometimes an hour by hour process. I miss you but rejoice that your faith has now been made sight and you are resting in the arms of your sweet Jesus.

I love you and miss you big brother

Oh how I love and miss you big brother. You were truly my best friend. You left a mark on my life that will leave me forever changed. Thanks for always pointing me to our sweet Jesus. Thank you for loving me even when I felt like I didnt deserve your love. You touched soo many lives. We all encountered Christ upon meeting you. Thank you for sharing your life with me. You have fought the good fight, you have finished the race, you have kept the faith. I love you soooo much big brother. Save me a spot next to you in the heavenly choir.

Could This Be, Lord?

"Could you have taken a friend from me last night and given me a new one tonight? Wow. Had a great night talking with a friend on facebook. Who knew 3 years ago, when we first met, that we would both be sitting here in the same boat. Seems to be the beginning of a great friendship.Thanks, Lord. My friend and brother that I lost will never be replaced but its nice that you love enough to bring this new friend to me."

Mr. Clean Goes To Heaven

My friend and brother in Christ went home to be with his sweet Jesus last night. He was a man of many talents and many names. Grandpa Henry, Mr. Clean, musician, golfer, fisherman, comedian, actor, but the most important title he held was child of God. He is no longer experiencing the pain that cancer placed on his body. Heaven has gained a mighty amazing man. Missing my friend, brother, and fellow servant. You will be forever missed and loved Mickey. You made sure that everyone you came across encountered God upon meeting you. You left His stamp on every life you encountered. We love you my dear friend. Rest in the arms of your sweet Savior. You have fought the good fight, you have finished the race, you have kept the faith.

Settling Down? Bit Overrated Don't You Think

Several of my friends are getting to the stage in their life where they want to settle down. I hate to be the one voice in the crowd shouting "BUT THEY CAN'T TAKE OUR FREEDOM" But if not me then who will. Sometimes I sound like your typical cynical divorcee but that's where I am. I got married young and with that I got divorced young. I am 24 and am divorced. Some say that has aged me and they are probably right. But I have been given a second chance at my dreams and so I'm taking it. I want to live life to its fullest leave no experience untried. Call me crazy but I'm not ready to be tied down again. Talking the other day with a friend she made the comment that her left hand was feeling naked. My reply was this "i had the ring, the sailor husband, and the big beautiful wedding. then the ring became a shackle, the sailor a stranger, and the wedding a memory." For me getting married young was a bit overrated. The dream wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Marriage was a lot harder than I could ever have imagined. So I guess I'll settle for being the voice in the crowd shouting reality. I'll be content with getting the marvelous chance to dare to dream again.

Pics From My ATL Trip

I love these boys.