A Lot Can Happen In A Month

Oh how much can happen in a month. For me, losing 2 friends is what happened in a month. I can see my perspective has changed in the past month. While a part of me will always be the free spirit and the dreamer, I'm starting to focus more. I'm leaning more on the guiding of the holy spirit and less on my understanding. I'm taking life day by day. Grief can do that to a person, I guess. But I choose to see it as a good thing. A lot can happen in a month.

Beauty For Ashes

Christ promises to give us beauty for ashes. I'm holding tight to this promise. In the past year, I have seen my marriage fall apart before me. Later in the year, I sat in a hospital for a week only to see my best friend and "big brother" die. This year has been a year spent in the foundry. Its been a year where God has placed me in the fire for the dross to come to the top and be swept away. Its been a painful year. But I hold true to the fact that I have been promised beauty from these ashes.

Perfect Timing Clarkston

Its amazing how our monthly mission trips to Clarkston always seem to come at the perfect time. My first trip to Clarkston was the Saturday following my ex-husband moving out of our home. This weekend's trip is the weekend following my best friends funeral. These trips are great relief from pain. They give me an opportunity to focus on serving others as oppossed to focusing on the pain that I'm currently in. Once again, Clarkston, your timing is perfect.

One Phone Call From Our Knees

"She got the call today, one out of the grey/And when the smoked cleared, it took her breath away/She said she didn't believe 'it could happen to me'/I guess we're all one phone call from our knees"

I got the phone call last Wednesday. A friend of mine called me to tell me that my best friend and "big brother" went home to be with his savior the night before. I think the memory of her saying those words to me will forever be burned into my memory. When the fog of shock lifted the lyrics to this song came to mind. We really are all just one phone call from our knees.

Life Without You

Saturday morning, I woke up and put on my funeral dress; a dress I have worn many times over the past few years, whether it be to attend a funeral or to sing at a funeral. I never dreamed I would put this dress on for YOUR funeral. But I did. I got up and gathered the strength to get myself ready to attend your funeral. The hours of your visitation, funeral, and gravside were some of the most difficult of my life. But I made it through them. Over the past few days, I've been trying to figure out what life without you will be like. Its still something I'm working through. I miss you so much and its hard to think, that you aren't here anymore. Simple things, like game night will be different and big things like who do I go to when my heart is breaking will be different. I'm learning that you left me in good hands. Chris, Ryan, Bashan, and Anna are making sure I'm not without older siblings. You have left me in good hands but they are not your hands. Its something I will have to adjust to. Life without you, is something I will have to adjust to. Its a day by day process; sometimes an hour by hour process. I miss you but rejoice that your faith has now been made sight and you are resting in the arms of your sweet Jesus.

I love you and miss you big brother

Oh how I love and miss you big brother. You were truly my best friend. You left a mark on my life that will leave me forever changed. Thanks for always pointing me to our sweet Jesus. Thank you for loving me even when I felt like I didnt deserve your love. You touched soo many lives. We all encountered Christ upon meeting you. Thank you for sharing your life with me. You have fought the good fight, you have finished the race, you have kept the faith. I love you soooo much big brother. Save me a spot next to you in the heavenly choir.

Could This Be, Lord?

"Could you have taken a friend from me last night and given me a new one tonight? Wow. Had a great night talking with a friend on facebook. Who knew 3 years ago, when we first met, that we would both be sitting here in the same boat. Seems to be the beginning of a great friendship.Thanks, Lord. My friend and brother that I lost will never be replaced but its nice that you love enough to bring this new friend to me."

Mr. Clean Goes To Heaven

My friend and brother in Christ went home to be with his sweet Jesus last night. He was a man of many talents and many names. Grandpa Henry, Mr. Clean, musician, golfer, fisherman, comedian, actor, but the most important title he held was child of God. He is no longer experiencing the pain that cancer placed on his body. Heaven has gained a mighty amazing man. Missing my friend, brother, and fellow servant. You will be forever missed and loved Mickey. You made sure that everyone you came across encountered God upon meeting you. You left His stamp on every life you encountered. We love you my dear friend. Rest in the arms of your sweet Savior. You have fought the good fight, you have finished the race, you have kept the faith.

Settling Down? Bit Overrated Don't You Think

Several of my friends are getting to the stage in their life where they want to settle down. I hate to be the one voice in the crowd shouting "BUT THEY CAN'T TAKE OUR FREEDOM" But if not me then who will. Sometimes I sound like your typical cynical divorcee but that's where I am. I got married young and with that I got divorced young. I am 24 and am divorced. Some say that has aged me and they are probably right. But I have been given a second chance at my dreams and so I'm taking it. I want to live life to its fullest leave no experience untried. Call me crazy but I'm not ready to be tied down again. Talking the other day with a friend she made the comment that her left hand was feeling naked. My reply was this "i had the ring, the sailor husband, and the big beautiful wedding. then the ring became a shackle, the sailor a stranger, and the wedding a memory." For me getting married young was a bit overrated. The dream wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Marriage was a lot harder than I could ever have imagined. So I guess I'll settle for being the voice in the crowd shouting reality. I'll be content with getting the marvelous chance to dare to dream again.

Pics From My ATL Trip

I love these boys.

Some Great Weekends

I have had some great weekends these past few weeks. 3 weeks ago, I went to Atlanta to see WLP. It was the first time we had seen eachother in 3 years. I enjoyed my time with him. It was great to be in his arms for a few days. Not sure how, but somehow over the past 5 years he has become my best friend. While in ATL, Will and I went and saw Al for a little bit. The boys got a long great and it was good to see Al for the first time in 10 months. 2 weeks ago I went to Clarkston for our monthly trip. We taught ESL and it was soo awesome. A week ago I went to ATL for Al's Halloween party and had a great weekend. Then this past weekend I went to Auburn for homecoming. While, my life has been flipped upside down by my divorce, I am so thankful to be blessed by so many amazing friends. You guys have truly made an unbearable situation bearable. I love you all and am so thankful for you guys.

I Have The Best Sisters

Somehow, God saw fit to bless me with two amazing sisters. We are step-sisters but sisters none the less. Our parents have been married for as long as I can remember so to me they always have been and always will be my sisters. We may not always have the tightest relationship but I know that no matter what they will always be there for me and I for them. I am blessed to be the baby. Tiff is 6 years older than me. Well, almost. Her birthday falls 7 days after mine. And let me tell you how much fun it was to have to share our birthdays with each other. Probably more fun for me being the the younger sister and it wasn't much fun for me if that tells you anything about Tiff's feelings about it :) Kim is 10 years older than me and is by far the most driven and grounded of the 3 of us. A trait I so admire in her. On that subject Dad says that his 3 girls have 3 distinct personalities and I can see that. Like I said Kim is the grounded and driven of the 3 of us. Whether that was her God given personality or if it came from having Tiff and me for younger sisters I dont know. Kim has made a great life for herself and I will always be chasing after her accomplishments. Tiff is the free spirit. She always has had a hunger for life. She has also made a great life for herself and has a beautiful family. And here I am the baby, chasing after my eldest sisters accomplishments yet with hunger for life like my middle sisters but on fire. The thing that the three of us have in common is how we rally around each other when one of us is down and broken. In unexpected blessings, in sickness, and now in divorce, we always are there to help one another. Sometimes, its a hug, sometimes its standing at a hospital bed, and sometimes its a sweet post on facebook. I love my sisters and I couldnt imagine walking through life without them. On a specific note, my sister Kim wrote one of the sweetest comments ever on my facebook. I had posted a piece of flair that said "happiness is being divorced from an idiot" with the simple phrase "need I say more" beside it. My sister Kim wrote the following comment that brought me to tears. "sorry you have to go through it but glad it is almost over! You are strong, young and have so much life to live. Surround yourself with people that will build you up..not tear you down! You deserve better!"

Oh what powerful words

Jesus Paid It All

I hear the savior say

Thy strength indeed is small

Child of weakness watch and pray

Find in me thine all and all

Cause Jesus paid it all

All to him I owe

Sin had left a crimson stain

He washed it white as snow

Lord now indeed find

Thy pow'r and thine alone

Can change a leper's spots

And melt the heart of stone

Cause Jesus paid it all

All to him I owe

Sin had left a crimson stain

He washed it white as snow

And when before the throne

I stand in him complete

Jesus died my soul so save

My lips shall still repeat

Cause Jesus paid it all

All to him I owe

Sin had left a crimson stain

He washed it white as snow

Oh praise the one who paid my debt

And raised this life up from the dead

Oh praise the one who paid my debt

And raised this life up from the dead

Life Isnt Neat

Again another day without lyrics but I was chatting with a friend and we were dreaming together. I made the comment to him that we should both find the love of our lives and both live happily ever after. He agree that this would be a great plan. I then made the following statement that I feel needs repeating "if only life were that simple there is no happily ever after life doesnt get handed to you in a nice neat pretty package its messy and crazy and wild its tough, heartbreaking, and it sucks some times but thats what makes it beautiful". My prayer is that we are both able to find someone to share our lives with. But I also pray that we will have the strength, courage and wisdom to commit to someone our lives.

Taking That Leap Of Faith

Not just lyrics to a song today. A couple of weeks ago I had the opportunity to go ziplining. It was an amazing experience. Looking back on the experience I can see a lesson to be learned. The experience consisted of several platforms where we would hook our harness on to the zipline then run and jump off the platform and let our harness slide us along the zipline from one platform to the other. It was so much fun. Then we came to a platform where the guides told us we would be ziplining backwards and upside down. Yes we would have to stand on the edge of the platform, lean back and let go and fall and trust the harness would catch us. This picture is me doing that. It required complete trust in the harness. I had no control. I had to lean back and trust that the harness would catch me. The experience was amazing. Isnt that how our walk with God is sometimes. Life can be going great and then he asks us to stand on the ledge of the unknown and fall back and trust that he will catch us. We all face trying times, mine just happens to be divorce. We are left with no choice but to fall back and trust that God will catch us. The trials may be hard, dark, and insanely scary but Our Savior has overcome the world so we have nothing to fear. Easier said than done, I know. But ultimately the joy of falling and my sweet Jesus catching me is a joy like nothing else, something very worth the fall.

A Couple of Songs From The Movie Fireproof

These songs are part of the soundract to the movie fireproof. When the movie first came out, I was madly in love with Cole and the thought of ever being in the same position as the couple in the movie was foreign. The songs were beautiful but NEVER something MY heart would sing. Now a year and a half later these songs are the cry of my heart. My marriage has fallen apart and sadly we are not getting the happily ever after movie ending. My husband has chosen not to fight for our marriage and is filing for divorce. These lyrics are the cry of my heart to my Savior Jesus Christ.

Love Is Not A Fight

Love is not a place
To come and go as we please
Its house we enter in
Then commit to never leave

So lock the door behind you
Throw away the key
We'll work it out together
Let it bring us to our knees

Chorus
Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is a peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave
May God send angels to gaurd the door
Love is not a fight
But its something worth fighting for

To some love is a word
That they can fall into
But when their falling out
Keeping that word is hard to do.

Chorus

Love will come to save us
If we only call
He will ask nothing from us
But demand we give our all

Chorus

I will fight for you
Will you fight for me
Its worth fighting for

by Warren Barfield

While I'm Waiting

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead
Bold and confident
Taking ever step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve you
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes I will wait
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord.

by John Waller

Lead Me

Such an amazing song. The unanswered cry of my heart. My desperate plea to my husband.

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying

"Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us
Show me your willing to fight
That I'ms still the Love of Your Life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone"

Sanctus Real

Florida Trip

We had an amazing time in Florida. Hubbs and I were able to go to Disney World for a day. We went to 3 parks in 1 day and wow that was exhausting but so much fun. We also did a lot of relaxing by the pool and 4-wheeling around the farm. We also went back to Disney one day to play mini golf and have dinner at The Boardwalk. We also got to see the last scheduled launch of the Space Shuttle Atlantis. It was amazing. I am so fortunate to have gotten to see it. I had so much fun getting to know Hubbs's family. They are amazing people. His aunt is one of the most amazing women I have ever met. Her daughter would also make that list. Florida was amazing and we already miss it but we are happy to be back home.

An Update

So this past month has been crazy. After getting laid off from my job at the law firm, Hubbs and I had a lot to pray about. We considered several different cities to relocate to, including being near Emmy and her family. We finally, packed a suitcase and went to Florida to visit Hubbs's family and look for jobs. After 2 weeks in Florida, we were looking forward to hopefully moving down there. However, after talking with some family, we decided to pursue some employment opportunities in a different city in our state. Hubb's has a second interview this week, that we pray concludes with an offer of employment. We love the city and are very excited about how things are working out.

It happened to us too

So I think its safe to say that the economy isnt what it used to be. Lets face it, everyone is having a hard time these days. I was laid off from my job on Tuesday. So now we both dont have a job. We are trying to keep positive about the situation. We both have no desire to stay in our current city and now we have the opportunity to look for employment out of our state. Yay. Who knows maybe we will end up in the same city as Emmy and her family.

Unanswered Prayers

"Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers". This simple lyric hit home this weekend, while visiting family in another town. Growing up, all I wanted to do was to move to this particular city. I thought it would be such an amazing adventure and my hopes and dreams would magically come true if I could just move to this town. I begged and pleaded with my mom unsuccessfuly for 2 0 years. I pleaded with God to change my mom's mind about staying in our city. We never did move to that city. And I can honestly say that I am so happy we didn't. If we had moved, I never would have met my husband, never would have gotten my job that I love so much and so many other opportunities that I have gotten to experience where I am would not have come my way. While that magical city will forever hold a special place in my heart, I am so thankful that God did not answer my prayers. This is truly where I am suppposed to be.

Another amazing recommendation from some pretty smart people. I was very pleased that I was convinced to pick this book up. I can honestly say this book has peaked my interest in historical fiction. It was written well and cleverly gave you historical facts so the reader was learning history without it being forced upon by some history teacher in a classroom setting. Definately recommend it. I loved this book. I give it 5 stars.

I loved this book. I have never been a fan of fantasy/books set in the future but I was very impressed with this one. I literally couldnt put it down. I am very impressed with Suzanne Collins as a writer. This is a must read. This is the first in a trilogy with Catching Fire being book 2 and Mockingjay(due out in October) being book 3. I am looking forward to picking up Catching Fire and eagerly await the release of Mockingjay. I give it 5 stars.

Impromptu Date Night

When I got home last night, Hubbs and I went through the usual "what do you want to eat for dinner" routine. I suggested that I would be up for using one of our giftcards to Outback(we have 3 from Christmas). So he decided to turn it into a date night. We had soooo much fun. He even took me to Books A Million afterwards. It was so nice. We are so blessed to have eachother.

Remember Me

An amazing read by Sophie Kinsella. Loved the characteres. Loved the plot. Loved the light reading. Although I have enjoyed other SK books more than this one (Can You Keep Secret? comes to mind), this was still another amazing read. I love reading Sophie Kinsella books. I give it 4 stars.

Well writen. Thought provoking. Amazing. I loved this book. Jacobs had me laughing one minute and in deep thought the next, followed by more laughing after that. A great read for anyone. Christian, Jew, Agnostic etc you will find this book thought provoking and humorous at the very least. I give it 4 stars.

I just finished a reread of this book. It was just as awesome as it was the first time. I am so thankful to my grandmother for introducing me to this amazing series by an amazing author. It is a comedic mystery set in a classic southern city. I immediately fell in love with the sisters southern charm. I give it 5 stars.

The Fetners: An Update

Hubbs and I have had a great month. Our Mardi Gras/Valentines Day weekend getaway to the beach was amazing. We loved the parade and found a great little martini bar afterwards. Hubbs ordered a James Bond Vesper martini and has now set out on a quest to try all of the different drinks that James Bond has EVER ordered in ANY of the movies. The Prophet was able to go with us and had a great time(with the exception of getting car sick on the way down to the beach). On Valentine's Day, Hubbs took me to one of the restraunts that we ate at on our honeymoon. The place was practically empty and the service was great. Afterwads we took a walk on the beach and wrote our names in the sand.

Softball season has started so much of our weekends for the rest of the spring will involve going to see Softball Star play. We both love the sport and enjoy spending time with Su Madre and being outside together.

I am continuing to read during my spare time in an attempt to read 100 books in 2010. I am very thankful to the library(making these books available to me for free) and to the PS3 for entertaining Hubbs while I am reading.

March is birthday month for our family. We celebrate my birthday, Hubb's birthday, Superwoman's birthday, my nephew's birthday, and Mi Madre's birthday this month. Mi Padre is coming down with my step-mother this weekend to take us to lunch at our favorite restraunt. Yummy. Pics to come after the weekend.

I just finished this book. It was amazing. Hubbs had to read it in high school and he recommended it to me. I decided to give it a try and I was very impressed. I give it 5 stars.

Watchmen Book Review

I just finished Watchmen. It was my first graphic novel read. I was very impressed. It read very well and the graphics were awesome. I give it 3.5 stars.

Its Snowing!!!

We closed the office early today because of snow!!! This was the view outside our apartment at 1:08 this afternoon but the snow is still coming down. More pics to come.

I Started This Blog For My Friends

Hello Everyone! I decided to start this blog for a couple of reasons.
1. I have several friends who don't live near me and this is a great way to update them on what's happening with hubby and I.
2. I want to be able to also use this to review books for all my NBC friends.

Stay tuned for more about life with hubby and my love affair with reading :)

Me and Beth Moore

Beth Moore Signing

I got to meet Beth Moore today. She was signing books at my local Christian bookstore. She is such a nice woman. Thanks to my amazing husband getting there at noon(before they started handing out tickets at 12:30), I was in the first group of ladies. A special thanks to my boss for letting me leave work early and one of our paralegals for covering the phones for the last 30 minutes of the workday.